omg went tangs yest... cos GSS.. i wanted to walk walk see see..... end up.. first stop Tangs. spent 3hrs at vivo branch. first saw bags.. saw the martina pink straw bag i wanted to get.. i been wanting to get a straw bag so long man! then they having 30% discount! But i checked with the sales girl.. she said the prices might drop further ... if no uptake! Yipea! so i decided to wait towards end of GSS to get my straw bag!

Bought 3 other bags in the end.. miostly nite dinner function bags... but they were SO CHEAP!! N quality was there... so bought it la!

N then after that went to see shoes with sis.. sis bought a pair at tangs.. gold ones.. dman nice. sdo sad cant fit me. Then.. paid for purchases.. $10 slip ons (sis).. and bags ($9X3=$27) Total Damage= $37. Thats not it. then after paying... wanted to leave Tangs.. but saw Hey! Got acessories.. lets go check it out! WOW!! EACH NECKLACE ONLY $9!! The sales ones la.. others got some $19, or some are 30% disc.. or even 50% discount!! SO.. guess what! Spent another $130 over buying 10 necklaces... 2 bracelets! will upload pics later...

after tangs... went to marks spencer at vivo. wanted to get multiway, sale one no size. haiz.. so then.. went to eat pastamani.. by that time was 6.30pm plus already.. N, that was first meal of the day for me. didnt have time to eat breakfast or lunch things. but had a bar of almond bar gold choc.. whitker thing.. my office sales.. bought 4 for $5!! chaep right? anyway./..

then after pastamania dinner, went to VNC.. all so high the heels.. n their sizing runs small.. cos the feet there damn narrow. So anyway... decided to go to OG! Gosh! went to see see shoes.. no odd sizes or sales items at OG ppls park. first time there la.. but sucks. bloodie chibai. the staff there.. she saw my sis n me.. right in front of us, she was standing next to me, she tell her colleague in chinese.. "khan tha men lianke.." then the colleague turn n look and like snortled.. in my heart like WTF! N i straight said to her.. "Khan Se mo lianke?". she KALANG KABUT!!! HER FACE PUCAT!!! n i jsut walked off with my sis.. she hastilly like try n cover up.. no i mean .. im like come one we r your custoemr you know! how can u talk about your custoemr liek that?? n we walked off.

wait la see if i mood, i complain. OG IS DMAN CHEENA PLACE LA. HEY YOU SINGAPOREAN PPL IF U READING MY BLOG>>> IM NOT BEING RACIST OR WHAT> THIS NOT GONNA CAUSE RACIAL RIOTS OF THE 1960s>> BUT FUCKING HELL. U DONT COME N THINK THAT INTU REN CANNOT UNDERSTAND MANDARIN OK! SO YOU MISSY>> SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH UP. NO MANNERS. Compare my experience with Tangs, GOODNESS! WHAT A STARK DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!! Tnags... Ms Marylou n Ms Rozita.. they were so nice.. n like so patient. goodness. i took over 1 hr there at accessories booth with sis... n she patiently stood there.. n even open drawer for us.. to place our necklaces we chose.. no wonder i spent alot! but it felt good.. n her colleague called her.. i understood her malay.. she said nanti i got custoemr to serve first.. im like.. hmm.. thats good. sjhe didnt run away.. instead she patiently waited n left us to chose our own accessories.. didnt budge in with her comments.. providing us with her assistance when we needed.. it was amazing! She just stood there patient, and was responsive to our every needs. so its liek we need anything, can ask her advice. she never like oh u try this try that.. NOPES!! AMAZING!! NO WONDER I SPENT. cos i wasnt turned off.. was turned on! joking la.. but serious. HAVE TO WRITE COMLIMENT FOR THEM!

and to my chinese friends if u read this, im sorry.. im not trying to be racist. its got nothing to do with race. well hell! now i rem.. the other day thurs after PS, going down the train at PS NEL, bloodie hell. 2 mama pundeh girls. one facing escalator downstaris tell her firned.. "vangeh.." im like.. i saw the whole thing.. i understood it. she was telling her friend somehitng.. then the girl like turn aorund trying to look for somehting but in vaimn.. then the girl said vangeh.. n like point her eyes upwards like becknoning her to look at me.. when i reach down, i walked pas n aid bitch. but whatever l;a. u htink u giggle liek that dman funny ah?

CHIBAI FUCKER>>>> NEXT TIME U GIVE BIRTH, YOU WILL NBEVER EVER LOSE YOUR PREGNANCY WEIGHT! YOU WILL PILE ON DOUBLE.. N PPL LOOK AT YOU, will tell u EH U MAMA PUNDEh.. U ATE the GOAT PUNDEH ah? WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU U BLOAT LIKE THE PUNDEH BACKSIDE. And this vulgarities i jsut scolded.. its meant for all the indians.. all those from INDIA!! u bastards. never see fat ppl before? fuck off n go back to your village in India la. come ppl contry.. respect the ORIGINAL citizens can??? nothing to do with citizenship issues here.. but still.. dont think u so high n mighty. i know your kind. retarded.

well.. worse come worse, im gonna pay a fien, end up in jail.. whatever. this is my heart talking. n i cant tkae it anymore. so singapore n its lawas.. i understand. but pls think.. u need to give your citizens breathing space too.. else u must open like god knows how many Mental hospitals in this country.

Anyway, my angriness is now over.... Haiz.. im so broke man. bought Dorothy perkins blue sleeveless top.. $16 on thurs, then fri with pebbles ate Manhattan fish market spent $50, n sat bought the black spaghetti top from Dorothy $10 after sale 20% discount...

NO MONEY $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Shits!! ut i still planning to go out n get stuff. Dorothy perkins 2 more tops... n marks spencer multiway... Tangs orchard haven seen accessories yet... Robinsons.. bags!! the lsit is dman long....

so loking forward to fri. today. well yesterday. met pebbles after work for dinner. wore my new top bought at dorothy perkimns on thurs.. i think i look good in it. i feel great in it too!! so had dinner at manhattan fish market. its fricking oily. evem the vegetable was liek so oily. yikes!!!! n salty!!! couldnt take it. il oil oil. had the fish n chips. too oily man. yikes!!

then went swensens for desert. honestly, i dont knwo how to eat all these appetiser, desert n main course crap thing. recently only i learnt oh eat appetiser n soup.. main then desert... etc.. Pebbles! thanks to her! haiz.. tried cookie summit this time. not bad. but i still think thatring a ding a ling is the best so far.

so.. after that went DP again!!! hahas... Pebbles went on retail theraphy.. i almost bought the brown handbag... n the orange bag!!in the end, decided not to.. save $$ get a better bag... the yellow top i really love in this bright sunny yellow was OUT OF STOCK!! SO SAD!!!! finally today wear jeans can try on... but didnt have. next time see, buy take pay n go!
'
so will check out the other outlets.. bugis paragon all that. got so many things to do man... anytway.. came back 11 plus nearly 12. i mean goodness.. im 21!!! its not like im out dman late with some guy hanging loose or what. well i should be out with a guy. but i wasnt.. i was with pebbles for all ppl.. n my mum knwos her also. knows her mum also.. then whats the problem?? we only went to have dinner n to chit chat. why my mum cant underastand? i met her at 7pm... dont expect me be back by 8pm! goodness.. we only really ate at 8pm./. u knwo how it is right! then by the time wind down, rleax chit chat chill... time flies. n its friday, i KNOW WHAT IM DOING! I DON DRINK ALCOHOL, SMOKE DO DRUGS HAVE SEX WHATEVER tTHE JUNK THIS WORLD PRODUCES>>> i dont engage in those.

then i come back.. my sis action la.. like why u back so alte. i dont take the hosue keys. i dont keep a set. so ya. then they purposely took so long to open the door. my dog was barking for a good 10 mins. only when i call the hp, then my mum cancel. then my sis open the door. bloodie hell la. then my sis got the chek to like slap me playfully kinda thing. fuck her la. wtf. im older than u. im 21. i can be out late. i can be back at 6am also. u cant stop me. but do i do that?? NO./ cos why would i wanna do something liek that? im not doign wrong things. so wtf is the problem la. my mother best. can tell me next time dont come bakc sop late. omn the phone at ps, she even telling me hwat u doing out so late..etc etc.. come back early. alte already BLA BLA BLA. goodness skae mna. yeah i understand mother r liek that all. but goodness skae. try n undwrstand. give me the freedom i need. its not like im sleeping over some guy place or what crap.

i cant stand it la. then my sis bring into the oic oh dont think u can come n go as n when u liek n come back whatever time u want.. im like.. i jsut went out to have dinner. n its only PS!! if take mrt back, only 1 min i can reach. but, pebbles was gonan take cab hiome, so she will drop me on the way back. so?? nothing wrong right!!!

at the rate these ppl r going, i will never ever get a guy nor will i marry man. but lps note. i will never wanna be the person with 7 cats or going shopping with the mohter .. getting calls from the mother where r u what time u coming back all that nonsense.. when i am in my 30s. mean... my point is that i wanna get married n have a life of my own. YES I WANNA GET MARRIED OK! i dont want to be stuck iwth parents whole life that type.

tner i said it. anyway goign out with pebbles has always been great fun. n wait guess what. we were talkling about sec sch.. n she mentioned she from girls sch too.. im like me too... n we r from sister schs.. but our ages 10 year gap la. so... im like.. hey my boss also from that sch.. maybe u know her your batch or somethng.. maybew 1 to years older or younger... turns out!!!!!1 THEY R CLASSMATES. my boss n pebbles r classmates!! hahs.. cant wait to ask my boss on Monday when i see her!!

haiz... ok la.. i need to go take out contact lens now.. tom lotsa things to do. shop shop shop .. but no $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I love myself..

Manchuria

last whole week, didnt go to work cos was down with fever! i felt terrible cos wk, my colleague, was out of town... n i suppose to help out with mails... but bloodie hell.. sun went to khalsa club for the mothers day function. i wore white dress with black shoes n my gold bag?? yupps.. so then.. enjoyed myself.. funnily, this was one of the mothers day events organised by the buddiyas that i enjoyed cos i could understand the thing or something. i t was good. BUT! I didnt get to dance.. cos my couz was sick..n couldnt.. then i no partner wanna dance with who? Haiz.. i didnt wanna dance with the rest of my mum aunty n cousin ppl la...

Then sun nite came back... early monday morning, came down with fever! Shits! so from mon to wed, been takin 2 panadol each a day.. never work!@ took lozenges also! took my bro one.. cos he was sick the previous week.. think i caught the bug from either cousin or bro.... but med no use. i kalang kabut. thurs still sick... terrible! can u imagine? i sick, straight drop down 3 kg... now put back on la cos eat normal.. cant be eating slice fish soup everyday man!!

Then... fri was like malacca. i honestly didnt know if i could even make it all the way there. the thought of travelling in the car for 3 hrs lpus... was killing me! i jsut wanted to wear light clothes... accessories minimum.. no makeup on also. so then thurs night went doctor. lucky i did. thurs i was feeling so much better than mon-wed, yet, my fever was 38.5C!!! so im wondering... means that mon to wed, my fever must have been so much higher? 39 plus AT LEAST!!

Haiz... so took med on thurs n fri... felt so much better after jsut takin med for one day. this doc med is good la. better than polyclinic stuff. trust me man.

Then... went malacca.. it was good. but guess what. only went to temple on sat. fri was dman worn out by the time we reach in late monring... so went eat lunch at chicken rice farmosa place... IT SUCKED! THE RICE BALL SUCKED! CHICKEN MEAT SUCKED! i think any stupid old chicken rice in ulu market in singapore is 10000% better than the chicken rice at this malacca eatery... its actually famous with branches there n all.. i think their standard really drop. now like no biz like tha/.. last time still can see ppl eating there.. air corn all. haiz. so wasted. ate pizza hut that nite. goodness.. my bro ask my mum drop me n him go buy pizza n we walk back to our hotel. 10 mins walk only. so while waiting for pizza to cook, we went to shop nearby i bought my malaysia CLEO!! ;) only RM5.60!! N SO THICKKK!!! I LOVE IT! bro bought ciggies. he was MESMERISED by the variety there! n damn cheap i think.. so back to the pizzas.. i started getting asthma feeling.. i only had mild asthma in pri2 last time.. but never checked it our further no puff needed nothing of that sort. doc jsut discovered it thats all fullstop end of asthma story. So congested my chest.. like what the fuck this rock of phlegm doing in me? so went back hotel took puff. haha. shared my bro puff.. first time sia.. no actually 2nd cos had to take pufff once in pri 5.. \

So ANYWAY... bought stuff crust royal masala.. dman salty like that n hawaian.. loved that! stuf crust pizza were kinda salty eh? next time jsut buy reg pan pizza can already.. also dman cheap.. after GST, 2 stuff crust large pizza cost $46 RM!!!!!!!! its liek what?? Sg $20 for 2 stuff crust pizza!!! each stuff crusr large= $10 ???????

Sat then went to mahkhota for shopping in day time. god. ate gelato there. RM4.60 for dbl scoop gelato!!! fricking cheap la. lunch had claypot chicken rice.. only RM3 !! n it was kinda good. saw these power shoes.. only RM50 pink n silver some more in my size.. in the end procastinate, didnt buy. wasted!!!! went over to the new shopping mall... dataran pahlawan megamall.. its HUGE! yupps.. bought of all things, 2 bags!!! one is LV kinda ouch.. another is furry pouch.. fricking cheap also. RM15 fo4r both! so convert s$, only $3.50 each.

funny la. everywhere i go, i keep seeing good great bargains. thats practically all i bought from malacca. my god. sat nite went temple.. very fast la. metha dhek, eat, then my bro sis n i walk back ourselve. bought cigar RM5 for my bro... he wanted buy something for friend.. so yeah. cheap huh? anyway who care. i dont smoke. sat nite i hotel. i become Manchuriawood star la. i was making a fool in front of my bro n sis, dnacing to some songs on my hp, then my sis record.. so stupid. no one must ever watch those. i will die man......... took video clip of my bro... fucking funny la. really like daku. he bought this robber mask.. RM3 at cheapskate shop nearybt. fucking funny clip man....

so sad yeah. sun didnt get to go to temple. cos u kmnow why> my mum came late from temple on sat nite. so, sun, she cant wake up one... need to sleep cos wanan drive back. soo... eat breakfast at hotel.. then she dman DUMB la.. wanna check out, then go temple on the way n straight shoot to singapore. GOODNESS!!!!! im not gonna wear suit in car back to sg. not only is it fucking BEBEH, its fricking hot n uncomfortable. my idea is tank top n jeans.

so, DTER CHECKING OUT... DRIVE NEAR TEMPLE THERE..my mum park her car at the basketball hall place there.. my sis n i wait in the fricking hot sun, in the car for her for half hr plus, while she go to temple n metha dhek. fuck la. she didnt even think about me? that i want to go to temple on sunday also... sat wa too fast. talking bout sat tmeple. damn piss also. i mean goodness sake, do things fast. go on top the darbar where at nite kirtan one, she stand at the doorway there. u know dman crowded right! so dont block la. budy not small somemore.. dont further block. n she forgets. got 3 buffalos taggin behind her. so she stand there like dumbo, my sis another dumbo stand there also.. istand there like stupid, thought she want to sit so i alk in wanan tell them go got place to sit. chibai khani na buy.. whatever the fucking bad words in the world there is. i standing there like doofus waiting for them come sit. these ppl stand at entrancre block way. jsut tand there only. i pissed off la. stand like gundu for what waiting jesus christ come down is it?

so pissed off man. then u know my mother la. go temple, will spend long hours there one. i cannot tahan. i cant sit there lsiten kirtan or what not for long. at most half hr 15 min i get bored already. i dont understand much.. n cant place it into my daily life. if i can connect with sikhism stuff, then ok la. but i cant put it to use in this modern day age n world. maybe i dont know how. whatever thats besides the point.

sad la. dman sad. haiz......... so like that. tuesday went back to work. no fro. update in next entry.

feeling kinda depressed man..

I couldnt take it the other nite so i went to draft out my htoughts... fuck it la.. sometimes i think.. what the hell is wrong with you?? one minute ou are saying somehitng.. the next thing, oh all of a sudden, things change n pop!

XXXXXXXX HAD TO CANCEL OUT HUGE CHUNK COS SCARED PPL READ XXXXXXXXX

Thats my opinion.. Anyway... I am not gonna deny it. im feeling pretty miserable. honestly, yeas i am. cos its always about you aint it? is the whole world jsut interested in you? im not trying to be desperate. its the last thing i want. to be desperate. No! No Way! i have my pride. But then... i odnt know la... sometimes i feel its... ahh.. forget it. dont want to write in here.

im also sad cos didnt get into NUS Business!! WHy?? cos i suspect i didnt take A Maths!!! SHUCKSS!!!! Haiz... so sad man.. but i got into their FAAS! Now im woried! confused?? NTU or NUS?? Sch of arts n social sciences or Wee kim wee sch of communications??? AArgh!!!!

haiz.... so sad man. so sad... i feel like going to an astrologer. i cant take this life any more. im forcing myself to put on a brave front... im trying to be happy for you. its not that i am not happy.. Im fricking happy for you. But then... i qestion my own ability. am i that bad?? AM I?? Come on tell me!! AM I THAT BAD?? I CAN HEAR MYSELF SCREAMING AT MY SELF IN MY MIND: AM I THAT BAD?????????????????????????????????? It keeps playing repeatedly over n over in my head... i dont feel like living anymore! Cos of this stupid thing goign thru my head. its buigging me. totally. cos im doubting my own capabilities. and when i think about it, i get stressed. my head gets heavy. and i hate this head pounding on me... Am i that bad??? Am i that ugly???????

Im being brutally honest here. i cant take it listening n absorbing every little piece of info you have.. i cant take it. its making me feel worse about myself. why cant i enjoy that too? WHY??? Im not trying to say anything.. but i know.. that character wise.. ithink and i know .. that im not the bad kinda person with an ill-heart. i know that im the soft kind. u knwo me ppl!! mY FIRENDS KNOW ME. THEY KNOW WHO I AM.. WHAT KIND OF PERSON I AM.. U KNOW THAT IM NOT THE MANIOULATIVE, LYING, CHEating kinda person right.. u know im such a nice girl, get along with everyone.. i dont backstab ppl.. nothing of that sort...then why as a good person, nothing is happening to me??

GOD ANSWER ME!!! HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO HAVE 100% faith in yiou.. when for the past 6 yrs ive been asking for the same ting and you have never given it to me. how long do u want me to wait? till im old? till its too late?/ huh?? im fed up with life man.

Just when things were goign good.. every5hing had to collapse again. Yet AGAIN! my lifes in the dumps. im jst not satisfied with myself. I needamn answer to my questions now. else i will go nuts. im gonna breakdown. have a menatal breakdown man. its a personal thing. my fight with own self. Did you ask me? what about me?? DID YOU???????????????????? HUH??? You only keep telling me about youself. Did u take the time to ask me about THAT????? Answer me.

tom i gonan ask one of my firneds for the astrologers tel no.. i think i have to brave myself. even if the info i get is not good.. nvm.. just kill myself mentally. at most im brain n heart dead. But at least... i wont live in agony not knowing what to expect.

Im scared im having a mental breakdown...but im fighting so hard... So hard.. my mind is tired n my heart is weak.. like i feel like ending this constant battle. pls show me some sign.. to have faith in myself. pls god. im beggin you.

and thanks for answering my prayers.. i asked for $ to pay for sheru eyes.. nothing more.. jsut to pay for his eyes n maybe his medcine for his eyes.. and less than 24 hrs.. you answered my prayers, my desperate call for help... thank you my answering my prayers for sheru. although its not enough, at least its something .........